It’s been three years since my last post, and I can sum up the reason for it in one word: perfectionism. Yes, my husband and I planted a church in these last couple of years and yes I’ve had less time for blogging. But if I was honest with myself, perfectionism was the reason I stopped blogging, not lack of time.
Perfection. What a tricky word. At its surface, it seems as though it should be pursued at all cost in every avenue of life. The world bolsters this thought by applauding us when we indulge into it. But once you dive deeper into its relentless pursuit, it is a dream killer, a joy-stealer, laced with the poison of disabling fear. It turns our eyes off of the Perfect One and onto itself. It constantly whispers, “There is no grace. There is no help. The weight is all on you.” It blurs the memories of God’s faithfulness in the past and obscures the sight of His faithfulness for the future.
Perfectionism is a dream killer, and a joy-stealer laced with the poison of disabling fear.
Perfectionism told me that if I can’t do it perfectly, I shouldn’t do it at all. It caused me to abandon this blog, despite the desire to continue in it. I stopped trusting God with it because I was afraid. I was afraid of being misunderstood. I was afraid of being judged. I was afraid of being too long, too short, too wordy, too simple. What if no one was encouraged? What if the titles weren’t interesting enough for anyone to read? I let fear drive me to perfectionism, instead of leaning more heavily on Jesus.
Today, I write again, realizing I was wrong to let fear steal the opportunity to encourage someone while it is still called Today. I am not perfect. My writing is not perfect. But the God that I trust is Absolutely Perfect, and He is able to spread HIS encouragement through imperfect people like me.
“See to it, brothers and sisters, that none of you has a sinful, unbelieving heart that turns away from the living God. But encourage one another daily, as long as it is called “Today,” so that none of you may be hardened by sin’s deceitfulness.”Hebrews 3:12-13