I made a mistake that I could not undo; I could not make up for it or fix it. I disobeyed God and now others would suffer because of my decision. I sinned. That stunk.
In discussing the matter with my husband, he simply pointed me to Jesus.
But truth be told, at that moment I was reluctant to go to Jesus. My reasoning may have seemed silly, but these particular sins, the ones that you cannot even BEGIN to fix, are particularly hard to confess. After all if you can partially make up for what you have done wrong, it doesn’t feel as bad.
“I’m sorry, but I’ll fix it” doesn’t seem so difficult to say. But “I’m sorry Lord. I have sinned, and I can’t fix it,” is much more difficult to utter. There was nothing I could say or do to ‘take the edge off’ so to speak. I felt so exposed, naked and unworthy. I felt that even if God forgives me, I would then owe Him…big time.
“Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.” Matthew 5:3
The poor in spirit… Aren’t they the ones who have nothing?.. those who are bankrupt inside,…those who cannot pay for what they have done?
Hey wait…that was me! I am blessed? In what way?
Whether I realize it or not, I am ALWAYS spiritually destitute in and of myself. I have nothing. I am poor, exposed and a wretch. I do not receive forgiveness based on my promises to make it up to God. I receive forgiveness by repenting and receiving Jesus…the One who paid for my sins. His grace to me is a sheer gift.
Every time we ask for mercy and grace, we must do so on the merit of Jesus’ righteousness and His death on the cross for us. The forgiveness that God extends is NOT based on my ability to ‘pay’ for or ‘fix’ my own sin. It is because of Jesus’ work on the cross. Praise God for His goodness to us!
As the above scripture states, we are blessed when we realize our own unworthiness and our own helplessness, for it is then that we can receive what Jesus offers us.
People who believe they are healthy don’t seek healing. But people who know they are sick actually take the pills the doctor prescribes.
People who feel rich don’t look for charity. But those who realize they are desperately poor, will receive the help they are offered.
Blessed are those who realize they have nothing, who know that they can’t fix things, who know they are not worthy of anything. They are blessed because they look to the One who offers everything, the One who extends His hand to us. They are blessed for they are willing to receive all that God offers them which is the kingdom of heaven, the place where God rules and reigns.
I am blessed as I go to Jesus saying, “Lord, I am sorry. I have sinned. I cannot fix this. Forgive me Lord.”
“If we confess our sins, HE is faithful
and just and will forgive us our sins
and purify us from all unrighteousness.”
1 John 1:9